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You Want to Lose Weight? Cook More Meals at Home

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You’ve been trying to lose weight; you lose a few pounds only to gain them right back and sometimes more.  It could be that the food you’re eating when you dine out is the culprit.  Eating more meals at home is strategy number 2 of our guide Beating the Midlife slump 10 strategies to boost your self-confidence, self-care, and self-love, you can download your free guide here.

Eating more meals at home is especially helpful when you are at the beginning of your wellness journey.  As it will allow you to control the portion sizes of our meals.

When you cook more meals at home, not only do you tend to eat healthier, but you can also save time, money, and calories. If you prepare a meal and make a double or triple batch, you’ll have leftovers for lunches or another dinner.  By cooking once and eating two or three times, you are becoming incredibly efficient with your time, money, and calories.

I have to admit that when Dunkin Donuts introduced their Beyond Sausage sandwich, right after Burger King announced the Beyond Sausage Whooper, I was overjoyed. I cannot tell you how many sandwiches I ate, but let’s say it was a daily occurrence for at least a month and a half. Finally, one day when trying to put on my favorite jeans, I discovered not to my surprise that they did not fit. Eating all that bread everyday had finally caught up to me. Even though I was still exercising everyday. It’s true what they say, you cannot exercise a bad diet.

What we have to realize ladies, is that once you hit midlife, the way your body burned calories is not the way it burned calories at 25 or 35. There will be some foods that we can’t eat or we have to eat in moderation.

It’s much easier to eat healthy when you’re the one selecting the ingredients and preparing the meals. I know it takes more time to plan and prepare yourself, but if you are looking to lose or maintain your weight, feel better, and save money, it’s worth the effort. On the nights that you have other activities going on with the kids or community functions, the crockpot is a HUGE help!

Need dinner ideas? There are so many great websites for recipe ideas, including:

  • Allrecipes.com
  • Hellofresh.com
  • Forks Over Knives
  • eMeals.com (this is a paid service that sends you 5 dinner recipes each week based on the dietary style you choose)
  • Tasty App

If life is just way too hectic, you can use services like Hello Fresh, I have used them often, and the meals are excellent. They provide you with an excellent menu for the week and send you all the ingredients you need to create a healthy, delicious meal in the comfort of your own home. Most meals are done in less than 45 minutes, and you might even have some leftovers for lunch the next day. This option is super convenient!

I get asked a lot by single women, do I have to cook at home or could I just go out and eat dinner? I hate cooking for one person. And my answer is the same there is no one more important for you to cook for at this time of your life than you. Single ladies, make eating your meals at home a joyful experience. Purchase new cookware or dinnerware. Set the table, put on your favorite music, and enjoy your meal.

As with any change, you don’t have to jump in with both feet, baby steps are okay, if you are making positive movement towards your wellness goals. Just ask yourself, what one action step can you take this week to prepare more meals at home?

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Five Tips on Finding a Gym You’ll Love and Use This Year!

I know it’s the middle of January, but, Happy New Year, my sister, I know that 2020 is going to be a fantastic year for us, as we grow spiritually, heal emotionally, and get physically fit.  Like millions of midlife women across the land, you have probably decided that it is time for you to revisit the idea of regular exercise.  I don’t have to tell you the benefits of regular exercise especially for women over 40, but my momma/coaching instincts are kicking in, and I want to make sure that you understand that putting in the physical work now could save you from not just weight gain but brittle bones, compromised immune systems, loss of energy, Type 2 Diabetes and heart disease.

But, how do you find a gym that you will love enough to use three times per week after the excitement of the New Year has subsided.  You know, there are so many weight loss programs, new and exciting exercise equipment like the Peloton bike, but the hard truth is that as a country we are more out of shape today than any time in our history.

My own quest for the perfect gym in 2019 had me feeling like Goldilocks.  The first gym was close to home but didn’t have the classes I loved or a pool.  The second gym had classes and a pool, but the yoga classes were more like physical fitness classes instead of the quiet meditative qualities I love in yoga, plus I wanted a gym that offered more fun networking events.  That led me to my third gym, it had the classes I love, a pool, and fun networking events.  But again, the yoga classes felt like I was in a middle school gym class.  So, you guessed it, I joined a yoga studio.   By the end of 2019, I had four fitness memberships.  Thankfully, they have all ended.  But I want to make sure you don’t make the same mistakes.

Here five tips that will help you find a gym that you will love or at least one that you will visit as much in July as you will in January:

  1. First, pick a gym that is close to home.  That way, whether you rock your workout at 5 a.m. or 5 p.m.  You will not have to drive more than 15-20 minutes out of your way to workout.  So, check out the gyms in your local area. Make sure that it has ample parking, and ample lighting, if you are going before the sun, comes out.  You don’t want to give yourself any reasons for not actually parking your car and walking into the building.
  2. Check your budget:  It’s always exciting to start something new, even a new workout routine, the pull of getting our bodies ready for the beach are undeniable.  But, make sure that the monthly fees fit in your household budget.  Read the contract and check for additional cancellation fees.  Nothing puts a damper in your motivation to workout than worrying about how you are going to pay the monthly fees.  Also, if your gyms fees are being automatically withdrawn, check your bank statement to make sure that you are only being charged the amount on your contract.
  3. Pick a gym that has activities you love:   If you just want to work out on the treadmill, the bike, or elliptical and lift weights, a gym like Planet Fitness could be all that you need.   I enjoyed my membership at Planet Fitness, they have enough machines and weight equipment that even during peak times you could probably get in an out within an hour.  But I also needed my weekly yoga fix, so I then had to join a yoga studio.  My advice is to look for a gym that has everything you need for a complete fitness routine.   If you enjoy aerobics or yoga classes, then look for a gym that has a regular line up of those classes.  Visit a couple of classes to get a feel for the instructor, and then choose the class you love, make a commitment to yourself to attend that class every week.  Put it on your schedule, lock it in, make it a non-negotiable use of your time.
  4. Partner with an accountability partner: most gyms have personal trainers who will help you to get back into the groove after a long fitness hiatus, but they will also act as your accountability partner, helping you get the most out of your visit each week.  Some personal trainers will even give you a call if you miss a week.  You can also grab a friend and pinkie swear to help keep each other motivated and engaged throughout the year. 
  5. Check out the culture: Every gym, like every workplace, has its own culture.  Find one that is right for you.  To do so, ask yourself the following questions, do you want a gym where you can work out and attend social activities?  Do you want a gym that is oriented more towards accommodating the needs of families? Do you want that is oriented more towards adults and children persona non grata?  

The bottom line is that you need to find a gym that is close to home, affordable, has the equipment and classes you need for a complete fitness routine.  You will need an accountability partner to help keep you going to the gym when your motivation starts to disappear, and you want to make sure that the culture of the gym is one that fits your personality and your needs at this time in your life.

There are 168 hours in a week.  We owe it to ourselves to take 150 minutes a week to get our minds and bodies in tip-top shape.  Let’s face it, you may not always enjoy working out, but exercising regularly will help you enjoy your life and increase your gratitude level.   I promise!

Posted on by Midlife Made Easier

If You Want To Win-Stop Breaking Promises To Yourself!

Stop Breaking Promises to Yourself

A promise is “a declaration that something will or will not be done,

given, etc., by one:” Dictionary.com

     I know that you have identified your New Year’s resolution.  You have written them in your journal and dreamt of the day when you can cross them off as complete.  Maybe you have decided to lose weight, get a new job, stop smoking, or finally fire that lame friend who takes more than she gives.  Maybe you have decided once and for all to make peace with growing older.  Not in a sad fatalistic way, but in an empowered life came at me hard, and I conquered it kind of way.

But I want to help you do something that will make the resolutions you have made much easier to accomplish.  Not to damper your resolve, but 95% of New Year’s resolutions just don’t happen.  I do not have any scientific proof now, but I think it might be because 95 % of us fail at this one very important thing, we fail to keep the promises we make to ourselves.   I don’t really care what the promise is, only that it was important for you to take the time, at that particular time in your life to make it, something happened that day to cue the creation of this promise, so it must be important.

I bet that you feel bad when you promise to meet a deadline for someone else but missed it because life got in the way.  But we write ourselves off and what is important to us all the time. Every time you break a promise that you made to yourself, you’re telling yourself that you are not important.  To get to the next level in life, that must end.

We are sacred beings, and the promises that we make to ourselves are sacred.  Keeping just one promise could change your entire life.  If you want 2020 to have a different outcome, then you must make yourself a priority.

I want you to understand that losing weight is only part of it, the real work begins in your mind, and if you are willing to take that journey, then you will succeed where the other 95% have failed.

How we show up for ourselves powers our dreams, determines how well we show up for others, helps us to complete our purpose, and create our legacy. 

A woman with too many broken promises in her life is a bitter woman. 

This is a good lesson at any age, but especially for women in midlife. Too many midlife women, have died too soon with their dreams still inside of them, let that not be our story.  There comes a time in life when we can’t blame life anymore when we have to look at our mistakes and deal with the real reason why.   

To fulfill a promise, you must have a plan, you can’t just declare it and hope it comes true.

Your homework is to write down three steps you need to take to complete the plan and fulfill the promise.

You are worthy of peace, love, success, and joy, but you must fight for it, and I know that you can do it!

Peace!

Renee

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If you are looking for a group of women who understand what its like to struggle through hot flashes, hormonal surges, and hard to lose belly fat.  Join the Courageous Women’s Network our free Facebook group, in this group you will receive love, support, and a little kick in the pants when you needed.  Plus, you’ll get outstanding training from me that will help you cut out the guesswork and get to your wellness goals.

P.S. Are you ready to make feeling good YOUR new normal? Stay tuned! I’ve got something awesome coming soon… 

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Stop Being A Midlife Wallflower! Four Ways to Face Your Fears Today

I was listening to a podcast recently; the host encouraged everyone to find their movement. Find something that you are willing to get loud about, willing to stick your neck out about, a movement that is so profound in your life that you are ready to face your fears to be an advocate for the people who need your voice. I realized at that moment that I wanted to speak out for women in midlife just like me, who feel that society, their families, and their co-workers are trying to keep them silent.

Yes, its 2019, and women are more vocal about what they want, and many are not afraid to get it, but for some of us, aging has forced us to slink back into the background of our lives. Guess what, losing that 10 or 20 extra pounds will not give you the lasting self-confidence boost you seek. That is just the icing on the cake. The real work happens much deeper than the soft roll around your middle.

While most of us are not facing the same threats our ancestors did, we still face risks in our day-to-day lives that cause us stress. What are we so afraid of currently in our lives? Quite a lot, as it turns out.

We have become midlife wallflowers who still dream of accomplishing big things in our lives but are afraid that what we have to say will not matter to anyone except us.

It doesn’t help that we are questioning our identity and trying to find a way to fit into the lives we have created when everything in our psyche is crying out for something more. We are trying to create a new level of self-confidence to get us through each day, while facing our mortality, and having to deal with the patronizing comments from millennials in our office who are surprised that we are up on the latest apps or social media outlets. Yes, Ryan, I have a Snapchat account.

Let me tell you something sister to sister; it is time for us to face our fears once and for all. As a proud and lifelong introvert, I faced my fear the moment I decided to write this blog, record my podcast, and publish videos online for the whole world to see. I had the audacity to speak my opinion and gently push other midlife women to do the same. Who was I to study for a new career at my age?  Someone, a former close friend, told me that my ship had sailed and that I should be thinking of retirement and scheduling more time with my grandsons? I love them dearly. But there are some things that nana must do, and I am sure that they will love and respect me even more, when they see the results. Ladies, it’s time to put our fears into perspective.

Facing our fears doesn’t have to be scary. Luckily, you have within you the power to overcome your fears and embrace the happiness you deserve, right here, right now.

But how you may ask? Let’s look.

When we were children and feared that something was lurking under the bed, our parents would shine a light into the darkness. Once they did, it revealed the truth – there were no monsters. Once we shine the light of truth on what scares us, we often discover our fears to be unfounded.

So, let’s shine a light of truth on some beliefs that may be holding you hostage to your fears.

It’s human nature to worry. But did you know that research has determined that 85% of what you worry about never actually happens?  Let that sink in for a moment – most of your fears never come true.

But wait! That still leaves 15% of the time when things don’t work out! You are right, AND that same research reveals that, when misfortune did occur, people found they usually handled the situation better than expected. Not only that, they learned something valuable from their ‘ trouble,’ often even feeling as though the fear was worse than the actual situation.

Let’s take a moment to recap: we all experience fear, most of our fears will never materialize, and, if they do, chances are it won’t be as bad as we imagine. We will handle it better while learning something useful along the way. Sounds like a win-win proposition, doesn’t it?

Four Ways To Ditch The Wallflower Mentality and Overcome Your Fears

Being fearless is not about the absence of fear. Being courageous is facing the things in life that scare you, despite the sweaty palms and racing heartbeat. Being fearless is realizing that what you want is more important than any fear you have of achieving it.  But being fearless does not need to involve life or death situations. Fearless is falling in love again after being brokenhearted. Fearless is leaving a successful career for an uncertain opportunity. Fearless is standing by someone who’s disappointed you in the past. Fearless is falling and getting back up again (and again).

“I’ve been absolutely terrified every minute of my life—and I’ve never let it keep me from doing a single thing I wanted to do.” Georgia O’Keeffe

Ready to get started on the path to a more fearless you? Then check out these tips to give you the upper hand in facing off against your fears:

1. Own your fear. Psychologist Carl Jung said, “What you resist not only persists, but will grow in size.” So, it goes with fear, as well; resisting fear expands it. Fearlessness comes from embracing your vulnerability, not by avoiding it. Say your fear out loud, write it in your journal, put it on a vision board.  Then write down three ways that you are going to conquer it, there is something powerful about saying what scares us out loud.  It immediately redistributes the power.  Reducing the hold, the fear has over us and giving us more power to push forward. Isn’t it time you stopped running and faced your imaginary monsters?

2. Reshape your fear. You are smart, and that can be a problem. Are you a habitual ‘catastrophizer,’ always assuming the worst will happen?  I myself was once a glass half-empty kind of girl.  Having an active imagination can fuel our concerns instead of suppressing them. Our brains often overestimate our fears while underestimating our ability to manage them. The next time you’re feeling afraid, instead of imagining the worst outcome, ask yourself what’s the BEST thing that can happen, and use your imagination to explore that scenario.

3. Take a risk. Playing it safe often feels like a low-risk proposition, but what if the opposite is true? What if playing it safe is a high-risk approach? When asked what they regret most, people on their deathbeds usually lament the risks they never took, not the ones they tackled.

4. Build your courage muscle. If you have ever started a new exercise habit, you know that building muscle requires starting slow and working your way up. Developing courage is like building a muscle. Show up, start slow, practice your form, and do the repetitions. Your fearless ‘muscles’ may be sore at first. Still, once fearlessness becomes a habit for ‘the small stuff’ you encounter, taking more courageous steps for the more significant challenges becomes easier too. You do not need to climb Mt. Everest to conquer your fear of heights. But facing your fears head-on is the sure way of overcoming what’s holding you back.

When it comes right down to it, we may not be able to control the good or bad things that happen to us, but we do have control over two critical things; our mindset and our responses to our circumstances.  Think of a fear you are facing (or avoiding) right now. Ask yourself, what would your life look like if you decided to face that fear? What would it feel like if you showed courage – even a little bit? The courage to take a risk. The courage to be your true self. The courage to love others. The courage to love yourself.

When you decide to take the initiative to confront your fears, you will discover that the universe is in your corner. Will it be easy? No. Will you face obstacles? Yes. Will you make mistakes? Yes.  But remember, your dreams are not meant to collect dust on a shelf or, more heartbreakingly, to take with you to your grave.

Do not be a midlife wallflower.  It is time to join the party.  The good news is you have what it takes to break through your fears right inside of you. You are courageous, creative, and the bearer of much goodness. Sometimes when we dare to dream great dreams; we must do it afraid. Just remember, regardless of your age, you are never too old to accomplish something new.  I am right here cheering you on and if you need it giving you a loving kick in the rump.

Talk soon,

Renee

Please share this post with a family or friend who could use this information; there is nothing more powerful than women helping women.

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If you are looking for a group of women who understand what its like to struggle through hot flashes, self-doubt, hormonal surges, and hard to lose belly fat.  Join the Courageous Women’s Network our free Facebook group, in this group you will receive love, support, and a little kick in the pants when you need it.  Plus, you’ll get outstanding training from me that will help you cut out the guesswork and get to your wellness goals.

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What Are the Dangers of Being Skinny Fat? Four Strategies to Getting Healthy

What does it means to be skinny fat? How dangerous is it for you? How can you learn to protect yourself?

I found this topic really interesting because, as a health coach I encounter women in midlife who are so proud of the fact that they’ve never had a weight problem their whole lives. “I am already at my ideal weight,” they love to tell me.

I know that we live in a culture that bombards us with diet plans designed to help us lose weight and finally live the magical lives waiting on the other side. Because we have been brainwashed to think that the skinnier we are, the healthier we are- and that is simply not true.

While so many women between the ages of 40-59 look absolutely fabulous in their clothes, they could still have a high percentage of body fat compared to lean muscle, which can lead to osteoporosis the weakening of the bones, heart disease, stroke, and diabetes

The medical term for being skinny fat is metabolically obese normal weight or MONW or normal weight obesity, it occurs when women who are normal weight or underweight, are inactive, have an imbalanced fat to muscle ratio, or who partake of a diet high in fat and sugar.

These women could have a higher percentage of visceral fat, which is extremely dangerous, it can settle around organs and the abdominal cavity. 

Dr. Mark Hyman, the author of The Blood Sugar Solution 10 Day Detox Diet, defines the phenomenon this way, “Skinny-fat means just what it sounds like: You look thin but inside you are fat. You’ve got organ fat (the more dangerous type of fat) coating your liver, kidneys, and other organs. You are under-lean but over-fat, meaning not enough muscle and too much fat (especially belly fat).”

How can you tell if you are skinny fat ?  Ask yourself the following question:

  • Is weight training part of your exercise routine?
  • Are you getting 150 minutes of heart-pumping cardio each week?
  • Is your daily food consumption high in processed foods, sugar, carbs, and low in protein-rich foods?
  • Do you suffer from fatigue, the inability to focused, or concentrate for long periods?
  • Do you suffer from inflammation?
  • Do you have excess fat around your middle?

If you answered yes, to one or all of these questions, you could be suffering from MONW.  The only way to know for sure is to see your doctor.  Make sure that in addition to checking your glucose level and cholesterol that he/she checks your percentage of body fat to ensure that your body fat percentage is within the acceptable range.

As I mentioned before, some of the dangers of being skinny fat are osteoporosis, or weakening of the bones, heart disease, and diabetes.  Some other risks include muscle deterioration; if you are not strength training a minimum of three times per week, ladies you should be weight training.  Remember building lean muscle will help us to burn more calories and get us to our wellness goals.  If you are not sure where to start, shoot me an email at wtylwellness@gmail.com.  I would happy to help you get started.

The other thing I want you to watch out for is not visible to the naked eye; it is the decline of your mental health.  While being skinny does not automatically mean you are in good health, it also does not automatically mean that you are happy.  If you are not physically active, you’re subjecting yourself to a poor diet, and combating health issues, in time this could affect your mental health.  Depression and anxiety are just two of the diagnoses that I’ve seen in the past ten years as a mental health practitioner, health coach, and women’s health advocate.

So, what can you do to turn MONW around?  First, schedule an appointment to see your doctor today.  A little tip, because we know that doctors do not have a lot of time to sit with us to discuss our concerns be prepared.  Write down what you would like to discuss, mention it to the nurse when she takes your vitals so that she can put it in your medical chart.  The other four tips I have for you are:

  • Exercise regularly- according to the Centers for Disease Control, you should be getting 150 minutes of heart-pumping exercise each week.  That’s just 30 minutes five times per week.  Lace-up your trainers that’s what they call sneakers in the UK, can you tell I have been watching a lot of Britbox.  Put on your favorite podcast, which is this one of course, and go for a walk around your neighborhood, on your lunch break, or at the gym on the treadmill.
  • Include weight training:  your exercise routine should include three days of weight training.  Make sure that you are lifting weights that are heavy enough to break down the muscle tissue.  If you can do three sets of ten with ease, its time to lift heavier weights.
  • Plan your meals:  I’m not talking about dieting but planning what you will eat each day.  Making sure that your menu includes servings of fruit and fresh vegetables, lean proteins such as salmon, chicken, for you vegans/vegetarians, your protein choices can consist of beans, lentils, and whole grains, just to name a few.
  • Manage your stress:  high levels of stress are not suitable for your mental or physical health.  Physically it produces chemicals that force your body to hang on to visceral fat, remember that is the bad fat that clings to your organs and deposits itself into your belly. Exercise is a great way to reduce stress and boost your mental health, as is meditation or prayer which can be done anytime throughout the day.  And if at all possible, simply avoid stressful situations.  You do not have to provide the answer to everyone’s problem.

The good news is that just by making simple lifestyle changes, you can change your life and live the life you deserve.  You have control!

The first step to getting healthy is merely acknowledging that there is a need. Too many of us are walking around with undiagnosed ailments, and that has to stop if we want to meet/exceed our wellness goals.

Share this post with someone you love, and don’t forget to check out our free Facebook group, The Courageous Women’s Network, to get the love and support you need to maintain the faith and keep you moving forward. 

I will talk to you guys soon; remember you are stronger than you give yourself credit and more blessed than you know. 

Join the group: https://buff.ly/2AKoTIB

If you are looking for a group of women who understand what it’s like to struggle through hot flashes, hormonal surges, and hard to lose belly fat.  Join the Courageous Women’s Network our free Facebook group, in this group, you will receive love, support, and a little kick in the pants when you needed.  Plus, you’ll get outstanding training from me that will help you cut out the guesswork and get to your wellness goals.

REQUEST TO JOIN TODAY https://buff.ly/2AKoTIB

Save the Date! November 24th, I will be opening the doors to join the Courageous Women’s Network Academy.  You can work with me and learn how to exponentially increase your self-love and self-care because losing weight is only half the battle. 

Talk soon,

Renee