Posted on by Midlife Made Easier

How to Find a Support Group for Mental Illness When You’re An Introvert

Living with a mental illness can be challenging; if you are in midlife, you might be thinking that you will never feel better. Finding the proper support is crucial for your well-being. Support groups can provide a sense of community, understanding, and valuable coping strategies. However, for introverts, joining a support group can be daunting. Here are some tips to help you find a support group that meets your needs, even if you’re more inclined towards introversion.

Download our new book and get 20% off Liberate Your Life: A Journey to Self-Discovery and Wellness Journal 🌟 Introducing “Liberate Your Life: A Journey of Self-Discovery and Wellness” 🌟 Unlock the power within you and embark on a life-changing voyage of self-discovery with our transformative journal!

1. Online Support Groups

Benefits: Online groups offer the opportunity to connect with others from the comfort of your home, which can be less intimidating for introverts.

How to Find Them: Look for forums, Facebook groups, or dedicated websites on mental health support.

2. Start Small

One-on-One Support: Consider starting with individual therapy or counseling before joining a group. This can help build your confidence and provide valuable coping skills.

Peer Support: Some organizations offer peer support programs where you can connect with others with similar experiences in a more intimate setting.

3. Research and Preparation

Search Online: Look for groups catering to your needs or interests. For example, if you have social anxiety, you may want to find a group that focuses on this issue.

Attend Open Meetings: Some support groups have open meetings that you can attend immediately without the pressure of participating. This can give you a feel for the group before fully committing.

4. Communication Preferences

Contact the Group Leader: Contact the group leader or facilitator beforehand to discuss concerns. They can often provide guidance and reassurance.

Express Yourself: Don’t feel pressured to share more than you’re comfortable with. Taking your time and listening is okay until you feel ready to participate.

5. Create Your Own Group

Small, Trusted Circle: If you can’t find a group that suits you, consider creating a small support circle with friends, family, or online acquaintances you trust.

6. Self-Care and Boundaries

Set Boundaries: It’s important to set boundaries and prioritize your mental health. If a group becomes overwhelming, stepping back or leaving is okay.

Self-Care: Engage in self-care activities before and after group meetings to help manage any anxiety or stress.

7. Give Yourself Credit

Recognize Your Courage: Taking steps to seek support, especially as an introvert, is a brave and vital decision. Acknowledge your efforts and progress, no matter how small they may seem.

As a verified introvert, finding a support group that aligns with your needs and comfort level is possible, even for an introvert. Remember, taking things at your own pace and prioritizing your well-being throughout the process is okay. Your mental health is important and should be at the top of your to-do list; putting yourself first may take some time to get used to; as women, we are so used to putting everyone’s needs before our own. This is your time; if you need help, we are here to support you.

With Peace & Love,

Renee

Resources:

For a curated collection of inspirational and fun gifts for yourself or someone you love, visit Renee & Ruby’s. You will get 20% off your entire purchase, and Afterpay is available.

Posted on by Midlife Made Easier

Nourishing Your Soul: When Diet Plans Falter

When my friend was about to undergo her weight loss surgery, the one thing she feared was the weight coming back; I remember her crying and shaking her head because this surgery was her last hope; in her mind, it was the last straw of her dieting journey if this didn’t work there was nothing else, no plan B.  Today, let’s talk about something we all face: the difficulties of dieting.  You know the drill – you start strong, motivated, and determined to stick to your plan. But then life happens, stress kicks in, and that bag of chips or slice of cake suddenly looks too tempting. You indulge, and guilt and self-criticism creep in before you know it. Sound familiar?

As midlife women, we often carry the weight of many responsibilities – career, family, relationships – and sometimes, our well-being takes a backseat. When we slip up on our dieting journey, the negative self-talk can be relentless. We beat ourselves up with phrases like:

  1. “I have no willpower.”
  2. “I’m a failure.”
  3. “I’ll never reach my goals.”
  4. “I’m so weak.”
  5. “I’m disgusting.”

But here is the truth: you are none of those things. You are resilient, strong, and deserving of compassion – especially from yourself. So, how can you show yourself the kindness you deserve when you fall off your diet plan? Here are some gentle reminders:

1.  Practice Self-Compassion

Instead of berating yourself for slipping up, practice self-compassion. Treat yourself with the kindness you would offer a friend in a similar situation. Remind yourself that it is okay to stumble; how you respond with understanding and forgiveness matters.

2.  Challenge Negative Thoughts

When those mean thoughts creep in, challenge them. Ask yourself if they are true or just a product of your inner critic. Replace them with positive affirmations like, “I am human, and it’s okay to have moments of indulgence.”

🌟 Support the Midlife Made Easier Blog and our mission to Empower Midlife Women By shopping at our store Renee & Ruby’s! 🌟

At Renee & Rubys, every purchase you make helps us continue providing valuable blog content and community programming for midlife women looking to take control of their health, finances, relationships, and careers. Your support means the world to us, and we’re thrilled to offer you 20% off your entire purchase as a thank you! 💖✨

Shop now and use Afterpay for convenient, interest-free payments. Together, we can make a difference, one purchase at a time. 🛍️💪

🔗 [Shop Now]

Thank you for being a part of our mission! 🙏

3.  Focus on Progress, Not Perfection

Ditch the all-or-nothing mindset. Remember that progress is not linear, and every step forward – no matter how small – is worth celebrating. Give yourself credit for the effort you have put in and the progress you have made so far.

4.  Practice Mindful Eating

Instead of viewing food as the enemy, cultivate a mindful eating practice. Tune into your body’s hunger and fullness cues and savor each bite without judgment. You can enjoy your food without guilt or regret by being present in the moment.

5.  Seek Support

You are not in this alone. Contact friends, family, or a support group who can offer encouragement and understanding.  Sharing your struggles can lighten the load and remind you that you are not defined by a number on a scale.

6.  Prioritize Self-Care

Lastly, prioritize self-care in all its forms –taking a bubble bath, walking in nature, or indulging in a hobby you love. Nourish your body, mind, and soul with activities that bring you joy and replenish your spirit.

In the journey towards health and wellness, it is important to remember that perfection is not the goal. Diet plans are tools, not final destinations. They guide us, offer structure, and can foster positive change, but they are not infallible. It does not mean you have failed when they falter—and they often will. It simply means you are human.

Your worth is not measured by your adherence to a diet or the numbers on a scale. Instead, it is defined by your resilience, commitment to bettering yourself, and capacity for self-love and compassion. When diet plans falter, it is an opportunity to reconnect with the deeper reasons behind your health journey. It is a chance to listen to your body, understand its needs, and respond kindly.

Take a moment to breathe and reflect on how far you have come. Celebrate the small victories, the moments of progress, and the lessons learned along the way. Embrace the setbacks as part of the process, not as a sign to give up but as a reminder to be gentle with yourself. Your journey is unique, and navigating it at your own pace is okay.

Remember, nourishing your soul is just as important as nourishing your body. Engage in activities that bring you joy, surround yourself with supportive people, and practice self-care. When you approach your health journey with a holistic mindset, balancing physical, emotional, and spiritual well-being, you build a foundation that supports lasting change. Unfortunately, my friend did gain some weight back after her surgery, but we used these very tips to help her manage her mindset and focus on her emotional health. This has enabled her to stick to her healthy weight.

So, when diet plans falter, let it be a moment to pause, reassess, and continue forward with renewed dedication and a compassionate heart. You are more than your diet plan—you are a resilient, wonderful being capable of incredible growth and transformation. Keep nourishing your soul, and trust that you are on the right path, one step at a time.

With Peace & Love,

Renee

🌟 Introducing “Liberate Your Life: A Journey of Self-Discovery and Wellness” 🌟

Unlock the power within you and embark on a life-changing voyage of self-discovery with our transformative journal! 🚀

🔍 Peel back the layers of your life with 118 daily prompts designed to uncover insights, overcome obstacles, and chart a course toward the life you desire.

💪 Embrace empowerment as you navigate a holistic exploration of wellness, reclaiming your joy and vitality step by step. Download today, get 20% off your purchase.

Posted on by Midlife Made Easier

Unlocking Peak Productivity: Crafting Your Ideal Summer Morning Routine

I love summer. As the sun rises higher and the days grow longer, there is something undeniably invigorating about the arrival of summer. With its promise of warmth, vitality, and endless possibilities, it is the perfect time to reevaluate and revamp your daily routine. Harnessing the energy of summer mornings can set the tone for a day filled with productivity, creativity, and overall well-being. In this blog post, we will explore how to create a summer morning routine that embraces the spirit of the season and boosts your productivity to new heights. 

Embrace the Early Hours:

One of the greatest gifts of summer is the early sunrise. Take advantage of this natural alarm clock by rising with the sun. Waking up early allows you to seize the quiet, uninterrupted morning hours when the world is still asleep. Use this time for activities that set a positive tone for the day ahead, such as meditation, journaling, or enjoying a leisurely breakfast outdoors.

Move Your Body:

Summer is synonymous with movement and activity. Incorporate exercise into your morning routine to jumpstart your metabolism, increase energy levels, and enhance mood. Whether it is a brisk walk, a yoga session in the garden, or a refreshing swim, find an activity that energizes and gets your blood flowing. Not only will exercise invigorate your body, but it will also sharpen your focus and concentration for the tasks ahead.

Hydrate and Nourish:

Proper hydration is essential for optimal brain function and overall well-being. Start your day by drinking water to replenish fluids lost during sleep. Follow this with a nutritious breakfast filled with seasonal fruits, whole grains, and protein. Fueling your body with wholesome foods provides sustained energy throughout the morning, preventing mid-morning crashes and keeping your mind sharp.

Set Intentions:

Before diving into the demands of the day, take a moment to set intentions for how you want to feel and what you want to accomplish. Reflect on your short-term and long-term goals and visualize yourself achieving them. Write down your intentions in a journal or create a vision board to keep them at the forefront of your mind. This practice clarifies your priorities and instills a sense of purpose and motivation to tackle the day ahead.

Unplug and Connect with Nature:

In our hyper-connected world, it is all too easy to succumb to the distractions of technology, especially in the morning. Resist the urge to check emails or social media as soon as you wake up. Instead, dedicate time to disconnecting from screens and reconnecting with nature. Spend a few moments outdoors, whether sipping your morning coffee on the porch or taking a barefoot stroll through the grass. Immersing yourself in the beauty of the natural world grounds you in the present moment and fosters a sense of calm and tranquility.

Summer mornings hold the promise of endless potential and opportunity. By crafting a morning routine that harnesses the season’s energy, you can supercharge your productivity and set yourself up for success. Whether embracing the early hours, prioritizing movement and nourishment, or setting intentions for the day ahead, small changes to your morning routine can yield significant results. So, seize the day, soak up the sunshine, and make this summer your most productive!

With Peace & Love,

Renee

Resources:

Resources

Download our new book and get 20% off Liberate Your Life: A Journey to Self-Discovery and Wellness Journal 🌟 Introducing “Liberate Your Life: A Journey of Self-Discovery and Wellness” 🌟 Unlock the power within you and embark on a life-changing voyage of self-discovery with our transformative journal! 🚀

For a curated collection of inspirational and fun gifts for yourself or someone you love, visit Renee & Ruby’s. You will get 20% off your entire purchase, and Afterpay is available.

Posted on by Midlife Made Easier

The Best Books for Managing Depression and Anxiety

Dealing with depression and anxiety can be challenging; I know because I have been dealing with them both for over a decade; one of the strategies I have found to be very helpful for me and for the clients I serve is reading; books can be powerful tools in coping with these mental health issues. They offer insights, strategies, and comfort that can help individuals like us navigate these difficult experiences. Here are four highly recommended books that I think can provide valuable support and guidance to help you craft a plan that works for you; reading about your illness may not be all you need; I have included the link to Psychology Today Find a therapist, if you would like to locate a therapist in your city that works in person and remotely. As you journey through midlife, you might find that the tools you used in the past to manage your mental health no longer work; it is totally okay to search for new tools so that you can continue living a life you love.

“The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook” by Edmund J. Bourne

This comprehensive workbook is a go-to resource for managing anxiety and phobias. It offers practical techniques, cognitive behavioral strategies, and exercises to help readers understand and overcome anxiety. The book also includes information on relaxation techniques, lifestyle changes, and coping skills.

“Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy” by David D. Burns

Dr. Burns’ book is a classic cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) classic. It provides readers with practical tools to combat depression and improve their mood. The book outlines the principles of CBT and offers practical advice on changing negative thinking patterns and behaviors.

“The Mindful Way Through Depression: Freeing Yourself from Chronic Unhappiness” by Mark Williams, John Teasdale, Zindel Segal, and Jon Kabat-Zinn

This book combines the principles of mindfulness with cognitive therapy to help individuals break free from the cycle of depression. It offers guided meditations, mindfulness practices, and cognitive strategies to cultivate self-awareness and acceptance.

“Lost Connections: Why You’re Depressed and How to Find Hope” by Johann Hari

In this insightful book, Hari explores the societal and environmental factors that contribute to depression and anxiety. He argues that many cases of depression are not solely biological but are also influenced by social and cultural factors. The book offers a compassionate and hopeful perspective on overcoming depression.

These books offer valuable insights, practical advice, and compassionate support for those dealing with depression and anxiety. Whether you’re looking for coping strategies, understanding, or a sense of hope, these books can be valuable companions on your journey to mental health and well-being. Creating a plan to assist with your depression and anxiety before episodes occur is crucial for several reasons. Proactively developing coping mechanisms and support systems can help reduce the severity and duration of depressive and anxious episodes.

By having a plan, you can better manage your symptoms and maintain a higher quality of life. Additionally, understanding your triggers and learning effective techniques to address them can empower you to take control of your mental health. Preparing in advance also ensures that you have the necessary resources and support when needed most, helping you navigate challenging times with greater resilience and confidence. Remember, you do not have to take this journey alone; talk to family and friends about how you feel, and if that does not work, seek out the assistance of a professional therapist; you can research for one by checking out psychologytoday.com, that is where I found my therapist, and she is amazing. 

With Peace & Love,

Renee

Resources

Download our new book and get 20% off Liberate Your Life: A Journey to Self-Discovery and Wellness Journal 🌟 Introducing “Liberate Your Life: A Journey of Self-Discovery and Wellness” 🌟

Unlock the power within you and embark on a life-changing voyage of self-discovery with our transformative journal! 🚀

For a curated collection of inspirational and fun gifts for yourself or someone you love, visit Renee & Ruby’s. You will get 20% off your entire purchase, and Afterpay is available.

Posted on by Midlife Made Easier

Menopause and Heart Disease: What Women Need to Know

Menopause is a natural biological process that marks the end of a woman’s menstrual cycle. It typically occurs in women in their late 40s or early 50s, signaling the end of their reproductive years. While menopause is a normal part of aging, it can bring about various changes in the body, including an increased risk of heart disease.

The Link Between Menopause and Heart Disease

Heart disease is the leading cause of death for women in the United States, surpassing all forms of cancer combined. The risk of heart disease increases with age, and menopause seems to play a significant role in this increased risk.

During menopause, a woman’s body undergoes hormonal changes, particularly a decline in estrogen levels. Estrogen is believed to have a protective effect on the cardiovascular system, helping to maintain healthy blood vessels and lower cholesterol levels. As estrogen levels decrease during menopause, women become more susceptible to heart disease.

Understanding the Risks

Several factors contribute to the increased risk of heart disease in menopausal women:

  1. Changes in Cholesterol Levels: During menopause, there is often a shift in cholesterol levels, with an increase in LDL cholesterol (frequently referred to as “bad” cholesterol) and a decrease in HDL cholesterol (known as “good” cholesterol). This imbalance can lead to the buildup of plaque in the arteries, increasing the risk of heart attack and stroke.
  2. Weight Gain: Many women experience weight gain during menopause, particularly around the abdomen. Excess abdominal fat is associated with an increased risk of heart disease and other health issues.
  3. Increased Blood Pressure: Menopause can also lead to increased blood pressure, a significant risk factor for heart disease.
  4. Loss of Estrogen’s Protective Effects: Estrogen helps to relax blood vessels and maintain their elasticity. As estrogen levels decline during menopause, blood vessels may become stiffer, increasing the risk of hypertension and other cardiovascular issues.

Tips for Heart Health During Menopause

While menopause is a natural process that cannot be avoided, there are steps women can take to reduce their risk of heart disease:

  1. Eat a Heart-Healthy Diet: Focus on a diet rich in fruits, vegetables, whole grains, and lean proteins. Limit saturated fats, trans fats, and cholesterol.
  2. Maintain a Healthy Weight: Aim for a healthy weight and waist circumference. Losing excess weight can help reduce the risk of heart disease.
  3. Stay Active: Regular physical activity is crucial for heart health. Aim for at least 150 minutes of moderate-intensity aerobic activity each week.
  4. Quit Smoking: Smoking is a significant risk factor for heart disease. If you smoke, seek help to quit.
  5. Manage Stress: Chronic stress can contribute to heart disease. Find healthy ways to manage stress, such as meditation, yoga, or talking to a therapist.
  6. Get Regular Check-Ups: Regular visits to your healthcare provider can help monitor your heart health and catch any issues early.

Menopause is a natural stage of life, but women need to be aware of the increased risk of heart disease that comes with it. By taking proactive steps to maintain a healthy lifestyle, women can reduce their risk and enjoy a healthier, heart-healthy future. Awareness and education are crucial; understanding the changes happening in your body can empower you to make informed health decisions.

Remember, heart health is a lifelong journey. Stay informed, active, and connected with your healthcare provider to keep your heart in shape. Support from family, friends, and support groups can also play a vital role in maintaining motivation and commitment to a heart-healthy lifestyle. By prioritizing your heart health during and after menopause, you can significantly improve your quality of life and enjoy the years ahead with vitality and well-being.

Please share this post with someone you love, and have a beautiful day. 😊

With Peace & Love,

Renee

Resources:

Download our new book and get 20% off Liberate Your Life: A Journey to Self-Discovery and Wellness Journal 🌟 Introducing “Liberate Your Life: A Journey of Self-Discovery and Wellness” 🌟

Unlock the power within you and embark on a life-changing voyage of self-discovery with our transformative journal! 🚀

For a curated collection of inspirational and fun gifts for yourself or someone you love, visit Renee & Ruby’s. You will get 20% off your entire purchase, and Afterpay is available.

Posted on by Midlife Made Easier

Three Ways to Stop Self-Sabotaging Behavior

Self-sabotage is uniquely human behavior.  Many of us sabotage ourselves when we decide we want something by doing everything to ensure we do not get it.  Sound familiar?  Although self-sabotage is a subconscious behavior, we can learn to manage it.

There are many reasons that you might sabotage yourself.  It is a widespread behavior rooted in fear of the unknown.  If you have immersed yourself in mediocrity, the idea of greatness may be frightening.  The first question you should ask yourself is are satisfied with your life.

Self-sabotaging behavior can look like procrastination, developing imposter syndrome, or adopting self-destructive behaviors.  To prevent these behaviors, we must find out why you are self-sabotaging.

Find out why you may self-sabotage:

  • Control.  You might self-sabotage because you need to be in control of your circumstances.  The easiest and most certain way to stay in control is to maintain your comfort zone.  Because if you step out of it and put your everything into achieving something great, you risk becoming vulnerable.  Your fear gets the best of you, and you self-sabotage.
  • Low self-esteem.  Do you feel unworthy of greatness?  You may have decided that happiness is beyond your reach.  Although this is a self-limiting belief, you can create a self-fulfilling prophecy by continuing to believe this untruth.
  • Distraction from painful memories.  You undermine your efforts by creating a life that is chaotic and unpredictable.  You feel the need to remain in a constant state of turmoil to distract yourself from painful memories or alleviate the loneliness in your life.

If you see yourself in any of these descriptions, it is okay because, in this post, I will share three ways that you can recognize and successfully manage self-sabotaging behavior.

Consider this process for defeating your self-sabotage:

  1. Observe your behavior.  First off, you must begin to observe yourself.  You can effectively do this by creating a self-sabotage journal.  Make a journal entry every time you realize that you have sabotaged yourself.  Describe the setting, circumstances, and result.  Avoid over-analyzing. Most often, a person’s true intentions are most evident in their actions rather than their words. Strive to be an impersonal observer in your journal. Eventually, you will gain a better understanding of your motives in certain situations.
  2. Envision success.  Keep in mind that success is neither black nor white.  Cultivate the habit of envisioning what success means to you and remember how it feels to achieve it.  If you do this consistently, you may find that you anticipate changes over time.
  3. Begin to see success as an integral part of your future but realize there will still be challenges.  For example, just like everyone else, you will still have to pay taxes and have relationship issues.
  4. Let go of the notion of perfection.  As you visualize success, are you still thinking that success equals perfection?  If so, it is time to realize that no one is perfect.
  • Your subconscious will not allow you to achieve success if you associate success with the impossible task of being perfect.
  • Think of your subconscious as a computer.  It does not know how to execute “do the impossible.”
  • If you associate success with fear, your subconscious will fight you the entire way.  Why?  Because its primary function is to protect you from perceived threats.


To eliminate this, let yourself anticipate success with excitement.  This will help you stop sending your subconscious the message, “Whatever you do, do not let me be successful!”  I think you would agree that it is time to put this type of thinking in the past. 

Instead, it is time to embrace the life you deserve by picturing yourself as successful and using one or all three of these coping strategies to help yourself snap out and get back on the right track.   Stop talking yourself out of success.  Instead, take it one day at a time, and cherish each moment of the journey.

With Peace and Love,

Renee

https://sowl.co/s/YYiGH
Posted on by Midlife Made Easier

The Courageous Woman’s Guide to Stop Thinking Like a Victim

Download Your Copy Here

So please share with you all the second book in the Courageous Woman’s Series, The Courageous Woman’s Guide to Stop Thinking Like a Victim.  This eBook and workbook bundle is for the woman who wants to stop living in the past and understands that she cannot give her present and future the attention they deserve until she changes how she thinks.  Plus, you will get a free 45-minute call with me; together we will create a plan to map out your future.

I get it; you are a grown woman and realizing that you are walking through life thinking like a victim can make you feel weak and vulnerable.  But the truth is until you put your past to rest, you will never be able to create a life filled with peace, love, and joy.

This ebook and workbook bundle is designed to help you figure out the thought patterns affecting your ability to make wise decisions, build lasting relationships, and accomplish your goals.  In addition, I will show you how to move through the pain of trauma, disappointment, and betrayals, how to forgive others and yourself.

It is time to shift your mindset so that you can go deeper, higher, faster you know that you were created to something more in your life; if you are tired of feeling stuck and overwhelmed, download the Courageous Woman’s Guide to Stop Thinking Like a Victim and create the future you want. 

You will regret tomorrow for not starting today. 

With Peace and Love,

Renee

Download Your Copy Here

PS We are healing ourselves and helping others.  $1 of your purchase will be donated to the Atlanta Mission; our goal is $700 to help them continue the incredible work in housing, clothing, and supporting homeless mothers and their families.  Thank you for your support.

Posted on by Midlife Made Easier

Taking Care of An Elderly Relative-Things You Need to Consider

If you are part of the Sandwich generation, a group of individuals between 40-50.  You are probably taking care of your minor children and an elderly or disabled family member.  Current statistics estimate that “47 percent of adults in their 40s and 50s are supporting an aging parent in their 70s while also managing their kids.”  Due to economic pressures and longer life spans, intergenerational households are becoming more common.  According to the National Association of Professional Geriatric Care Managers, the number of parents living with their adult children increased by over 64 percent even in the years before the 2008 recession.

   There can be drawbacks and benefits to having grandparents and grandchildren sharing one roof.  While every family is different, and your concerns may be unique, today’s post is meant to help address the many issues involved when you become a caregiver for an elderly or disabled family member.

Financial and Logistical Factors

  1. If feasible, pool your resources.  For example, with a combined household income, you might be able to afford a bigger house or a more convenient neighborhood.  The extra amenities will make the adjustment easier.

  2. Hire an attorney.  Consulting a lawyer about family matters does not have to be awkward.  Think of it as protecting your assets and preventing conflicts.  In addition, written agreements can make final estate settlements much smoother.

  3. If possible, create a rental agreement.  Your parent or disabled relative may be willing to help cover expenses.  Then, decide how you’re going to divide costs for housing, food, and other budget items, or simply charge them a flat rate that is fair and comparable to the amenities you are offering.

  4. Help with the paperwork.  Many seniors are computer savvy, but you should be ready to pitch in with some research and documentation for insurance claims and other services.  Plus, sifting through boxes and files now will help you put things in order while your relative is still alive.

  5. Create a family budget.  Caregiving can be expensive.  Ask yourself how you feel about cutting back on vacations or dipping into your own savings to assist with your parent’s bills or take care of the added expense of bringing another adult into your home.

  6. Adapt your home.  Many renovations make life simpler for seniors with limited mobility or other concerns.  Consider electric stairlifts or grab bars in the bathroom to prevent falls.  Contact

  7. Plan ahead.  In addition to solving today’s challenges, consider what your parent’s condition will be like 5 or 15 years down the road.  Then, be realistic about how much you can do on your own to care for them.

Emotional and Social Factors

  1. Assess your relationships.  Living together may draw you closer together if you already get along well.  On the other hand, a history of significant conflicts may indicate that you and your parents would be better off making further arrangements.

  2. Create ground rules.  Look for ways to maximize your parent’s independence and everyone’s privacy.  For example, clarify expectations about mealtimes, noise levels, and housework.

  3. Involve your children.  While living with grandparents creates terrific opportunities for bonding and developing compassion, there are challenges too.  Spend one-on-one time with your sons and daughters, especially if they’re giving up their bedrooms or a portion of your daily attention.

  4. Take care of yourself.  Remember to nurture yourself and your marriage while taking on other responsibilities.  For example, date nights may be easier if you count on your parents instead of looking for a babysitter.  If that is not possible, think about hiring someone, even if it is only for a couple of hours.

  5. Encourage socializing.  Staying engaged is vital for your parent’s wellbeing, and it will take some of the pressure off you.  Check out the senior neighborhood centers and cultural programs.

  6. Seek support.  Talk with your siblings about how to collaborate on paying your parents back for the love and guidance they gave you.  You can also find classes and support groups for caregivers through churches, local adult and family agencies, or organizations like the National Alliance for Caregiving.

     With all, what do you do when you are forced to take care of a relative that you are not fond of?  Perhaps that relative was abusive when you were younger, or maybe you just have no relationship with this individual?   Whether it’s a parent or another relative, the same tips would apply.  It might also be helpful to pay close attention to establishing a self-care routine and support system that nourishes you to reduce the inevitable level of stress and overwhelm.

   Think long and hard before you respond if your aging parent asks about moving in with you.  Be sure to include your children and your significant other if they are old enough.  If things do not work out, it can be tough to tell your mother that she will have to find somewhere else to live.  Careful planning and honest communication will help you decide on a plan that your family will be happy to live with.

With Peace and Love,

Renee

Posted on by Midlife Made Easier

Abandonment:  Reclaiming Our Power from This Ugly Word

     Abandonment is an ugly word, and the emotions it conjures up are just as unpleasant. If you have been left behind by someone you loved, or someone who was supposed to love and take care of you, you might be feeling like you are not good enough. You might be asking why they didn’t fight for me? “Abandonment issues can trigger depression, mistrust, and irrational amounts of fear. These issues affect daily life, careers, friendships, and romantic relationships.”  If this sounds like you, I know exactly how you feel. When I was eight, my dad left us, and I only saw him sporadically until I was 24 and expecting my first child. We had a good relationship when we reconnected, but we never talked about why he left, and I never really got the closure I needed before he passed away.

    But, you don’t have to continue feeling like a victim of your circumstances; you can reclaim your power and heal. But the one thing that requires is acknowledging how you feel. Don’t try to cover the pain or push it down. Stop telling yourself that it happened a long time ago, and it doesn’t matter. By acknowledging how you feel, you open the opportunities to heal and move on.

     Acknowledging how you feel does not require you to confront the person who hurt you; if you do not want to, you can admit how you feel in your journal, speaking to a friend, a coach, or a therapist. When we stop trying to hide the hurt and do the work to heal, we reclaim our self-confidence, self-esteem, and self-love, and no one can take that away from us.

With Peace and Love,

Renee

https://mailchi.mp/edf3b180990e/the-self-motivation-challenge

Posted on by Midlife Made Easier

Before you Say Take This Job and Shove It! Five Ways to Manage A Job You Hate

Listen to episode 59 of The Welcome to Your Life Podcast: Before you Say Take This Job and Shove It! Five Ways to Manage a Job You Hate

     I, like many of you, have had to work a job that raised my stress and anxiety levels every day I had to go in, which is sad because, “for many of us, a large portion of our days are spent at work; in fact, the average person will spend 90,000 hours at work over a lifetime.” So, what do you do when you find yourself working a job you just cannot stand? This can happen for a myriad of reasons; it might be your job duties, your work environment, the commute, or the personality of your supervisor. But even though you need the paycheck every two weeks, it gets harder and harder to force yourself to go to work.

      Before you use up all your sick and vacation time, avoid the temptation to just quit. The situation might be salvageable. However, even if you decide to leave, it is best to do so with a plan. You can empower yourself to face a job that no longer serves your needs with the right strategy.

Before you give in to the urge to quit, consider these tips:

Understand exactly why you do not like your job. If you can pinpoint the challenges of your current position, you might be able to resolve them. At the very least, you can ensure the next job you take does not have the same issues. So, take time to sit quietly and make a list of what you do not like? Be specific!

Boss?

Hours?

Work environment?

Pay?

Co-workers?

Your job description or duties?

Change what you can. Do you have the power to change the aspects of your job that you do not like? For example, you might be able to alter your schedule or move to a different cubicle. There might be other positions within the company that would be a better use of your skillset. Whatever you do, avoid being a victim and look for ways to change your situation.

Develop your skills. There might be aspects of your current position that you simply cannot stand. But that does not mean you cannot learn valuable skills or get the necessary experience to move to the next level. List the benefits of your current position? What existing skills can you improve? What new skills can you learn?

Be grateful. I know this sounds hard, but gratitude is a great tool to help you get through the rough spots in your life. Make a list of all the benefits of having your job. Looking for the good in any situation will give you the strength you need to hold on until you can make a change.

Plan your exit strategy. We have all dreamt of flipping over a table and yelling; I quit as we walk gallantly out the door but do not make this move too quickly. Instead, take time to identify your options. What is the best choice you can make for your long-term future?

List the qualities you are looking for in your ideal job, boss, and co-workers.

What specifically do you not like about your current position?

What companies interest you? Why?

Will you need additional training to get your ideal job?

Will your current employer pay for that training?

When was the last time you updated your resume or CV?

Who can you reach out to for advice or job leads?

What is your current financial picture?

How long will you be able to pay in bills without your current paycheck?

     The most important tip I have for you is to be patient. Patience is a virtue and much needed during this time of transition. When you make decisions too quickly, you might regret them later. Taking your time will ensure that you are making the right move for yourself and your family. It might be uncomfortable now, but you will save yourself the wasted time and heartache when you do not plan your next move.

     Everyone has dealt with a job they do not like; this would be a great time to reach out to a friend or trusted colleague and ask for their advice.  Just know you are not alone, and before you quit, you can take a deep breath and plan your escape with intention and grace.

With Peace and Love,

Renee