Posted on by Midlife Made Easier

The Best Books for Managing Depression and Anxiety

Dealing with depression and anxiety can be challenging; I know because I have been dealing with them both for over a decade; one of the strategies I have found to be very helpful for me and for the clients I serve is reading; books can be powerful tools in coping with these mental health issues. They offer insights, strategies, and comfort that can help individuals like us navigate these difficult experiences. Here are four highly recommended books that I think can provide valuable support and guidance to help you craft a plan that works for you; reading about your illness may not be all you need; I have included the link to Psychology Today Find a therapist, if you would like to locate a therapist in your city that works in person and remotely. As you journey through midlife, you might find that the tools you used in the past to manage your mental health no longer work; it is totally okay to search for new tools so that you can continue living a life you love.

“The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook” by Edmund J. Bourne

This comprehensive workbook is a go-to resource for managing anxiety and phobias. It offers practical techniques, cognitive behavioral strategies, and exercises to help readers understand and overcome anxiety. The book also includes information on relaxation techniques, lifestyle changes, and coping skills.

“Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy” by David D. Burns

Dr. Burns’ book is a classic cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) classic. It provides readers with practical tools to combat depression and improve their mood. The book outlines the principles of CBT and offers practical advice on changing negative thinking patterns and behaviors.

“The Mindful Way Through Depression: Freeing Yourself from Chronic Unhappiness” by Mark Williams, John Teasdale, Zindel Segal, and Jon Kabat-Zinn

This book combines the principles of mindfulness with cognitive therapy to help individuals break free from the cycle of depression. It offers guided meditations, mindfulness practices, and cognitive strategies to cultivate self-awareness and acceptance.

“Lost Connections: Why You’re Depressed and How to Find Hope” by Johann Hari

In this insightful book, Hari explores the societal and environmental factors that contribute to depression and anxiety. He argues that many cases of depression are not solely biological but are also influenced by social and cultural factors. The book offers a compassionate and hopeful perspective on overcoming depression.

These books offer valuable insights, practical advice, and compassionate support for those dealing with depression and anxiety. Whether you’re looking for coping strategies, understanding, or a sense of hope, these books can be valuable companions on your journey to mental health and well-being. Creating a plan to assist with your depression and anxiety before episodes occur is crucial for several reasons. Proactively developing coping mechanisms and support systems can help reduce the severity and duration of depressive and anxious episodes.

By having a plan, you can better manage your symptoms and maintain a higher quality of life. Additionally, understanding your triggers and learning effective techniques to address them can empower you to take control of your mental health. Preparing in advance also ensures that you have the necessary resources and support when needed most, helping you navigate challenging times with greater resilience and confidence. Remember, you do not have to take this journey alone; talk to family and friends about how you feel, and if that does not work, seek out the assistance of a professional therapist; you can research for one by checking out psychologytoday.com, that is where I found my therapist, and she is amazing. 

With Peace & Love,

Renee

Resources

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Posted on by Midlife Made Easier

How to Use Prayer And/or Meditation to Manage Anxiety

 Let me be clear, if you are someone who has been diagnosed with anxiety, I am not suggesting that you give up your medication and therapy in favor of prayer and meditation.  As a social service worker and Certified Life Coach, I have seen the wonderous benefits my clients experience when adding prayer and meditation to their traditional treatment plans.  So, I am asking you to be open as you read today’s post because maybe adding prayer and meditation could be an extra dose of protection to successfully manage your anxiety.

     Did you know that anxiety is the most common mental illness in the United States?  About 40 million Americans have been diagnosed with anxiety. The U.S. spends as much as $42 billion on the American government to diagnose and treat anxiety disorders.    It is expected, especially in today’s world of political and social unrest, to feel anxious from time to time.  But if your anxiety becomes overwhelming, and you want to add some realistic strategies to your prescription medication and therapy regime, one technique you may wish to try is prayer and meditation.

     From personal experience, I can tell you that adding both to my daily self-care routine has helped me get a handle on my anxiety and panic attacks in a way that I never thought possible.  But you might be asking which one should you try or should you use both.

Which is Better: Prayer or Meditation?

     The answer very is simple: Use whichever you prefer. Some people have a close relationship with a higher power, while others do not. No matter what your religious belief, you can manage your anxiety through your thoughts and affirmations.

     If you like to pray, that is great. If you want to meditate instead, then do it!  I like to pray and then meditate on the scripture that is included in my morning devotional.  But you can choose Whichever technique makes you feel the most comfortable.  Taking your mental health seriously is the first step to healing and finding the right combination of therapeutic treatments.  Remember, this is about you getting better, and you know best what will make you feel at ease.

Getting Started

You do not need any fancy equipment to get started.  As a matter of fact, you can start right now with a deep breath. Pull the air deep down into your diaphragm and let it out slowly. Do this deep breathing technique several times, and you will begin to feel calmer.

My students look strange when I ask them if they are breathing effectively? Because if not, then you are only taking in enough air to expand the top part of your lungs expands; you may think this is okay because your chest rises and falls.  However, when you use the breath as a calming tool- your whole belly rises and falls, not just your upper chest because your entire lungs are being filled with fresh air.

     Before your anxiety begins to overwhelm, all your senses try practicing deep breathing as part of your own self-care routine.  The more you do it, the more it will become an automatic coping strategy that helps you manage anxiety and any other part of your life that needs an adjustment.

Here are some other tips to help you feel calm while praying or meditating:

Use a mantra. Inhale while you give yourself positive thoughts and feelings. Exhale anything negatives you are thinking or feeling. Breathing is the rhythm of life. Use it to your advantage.  My favorite mantra is I am Strong!  I say this because I felt like life was happening to me for so many years, and I had no control.  Now I know that is not true.

String together three scriptures:  I call this a string prayer.  I string together three of my favorite scriptures, and I pray them each morning.  I also use these scriptures as part of my mantra when I meditate.

Make it part of your self-care routine:  To really reap the benefits to pray or meditate at the same time each day.  Try practice when you are not in crisis. Here is a challenge for you, decide when you will do and write it on the calendar at the same time for the next 30 days.  It does not have to take a long time; try two minutes each day to start and add more time when you feel comfortable.

Laugh More. This was a hard one for me; I used my smile to hide what I was really thinking and feeling for years.  But now I use it to make myself feel better after a long hard day.  Try saying “ho, ho, ho, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha” and other silly phrases out loud. When you do, you will start to smile, then grin, and then laugh for real! And when you are laughing, it hard to frown or feel anxious!
 

Get an accountability buddy:  I think this is the best way to ensure success.   Your accountability buddy will help you to keep going when you want to quit.  You can join a church, take up yoga, or find a support group for anxiety. You are not alone; other people share your struggle; besides helping yourself, you could help someone else struggling with anxiety; think of it this way, someone needs a friend, and they are waiting for you.

Now It is Your Turn!

     As with any step towards personal peace, the first thing you must do is just start.  Do not wait for perfect conditions because they will never come.  Something or someone will always pop up in your life to steal your joy.  One thing to avoid when you start your prayer and/or meditation practice is the notion that you will be able to conquer it in a week.  Be patient with yourself and show yourself some compassion.   It took time to get where you are, and it will take time to get back to where you want to be.

Do not forget to speak with your therapist or coach and let them know that you have started this journey; they will be more than happy to support you and provide you with helpful feedback as you work to strengthen your breathing. Laugh. Meditate or pray routine.   The greatest gift you can give yourself is joy, which is a gift worth waiting for.

With Peace and Love,

Renee.

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Posted on by Midlife Made Easier

How Can I Help My Family Members Understand My Mental Illness?

Note:  Today’s blog has a new format; I will be answering a question from one of readers.  If you have a question you would like to ask about health and wellness, relationships, or life, please email me at info@reneereid.net, and your question could be featured on a future podcast.

Today’s question is from Brandiss, she writes, I am 50 years old and was diagnosed with depression about six years ago.  I am married and have two teenaged daughters, I have been trying to explain my diagnosis to my family, but they don’t seem to understand what I am going through. Now that we are all stuck home together, I thought this would be a good time for us to have an honest conversation.  How should I start?

Brandiss, thank you so much for your question; I know that the pandemic, social isolation, and sheltering in place has been a trigger for many of us suffering from a mental health disorder.  I am so grateful to be out of bed today.  As a Mental Health Practitioner, I worked with families to help them to understand their loved one’s diagnosis so that they can be a natural support for them once our services ended.  Sometimes, it worked.  Sometimes it didn’t.  

I know we have made a lot of progress, but there is still a stigma attached to a mental health diagnosis.  I applaud you and anyone who has the courage not only to face their diagnosis but also to share it with their families so that they can begin to understand and provide valuable help when it is needed.   I have four tips that I think will work well for you and anyone dealing with a chronic illness.  Your mental illness is probably not going to go away but can be managed successfully.  These four steps should get the conversation started.

  1. Education:  Don’t skip this step; it would help if family members had a bird’s eye view of exactly what symptoms and causes of your mental health diagnosis.  They don’t need a dissertation; you can simply give them a pamphlet, article, or book.  You can provide the information and then give them time to digest it and ask you questions.  Check out this TEDx talk by Dr. Lloyd  Sederer entitled When Mental Illness Enters a Family.  You and your family can watch Dr. Sederer’s talk together.
  2. Be Clear on What You Need:  This is not the time to have family members guessing on how to help you, guesswork will just increase the stress for both you and your loved one.  So, tell them, when I feel this way__________, I need you too___________.   Remember that you and your family members are dealing with something that even the medical community doesn’t fully understand.    For example, when I am having an anxiety attack, I need you to remind me of one of my coping strategies, whether that’s journaling, walking, listening to a meditation recording, or yelling into a pillow.  Knowing what to do will empower your family members.
  3. Explain your triggers:  If you have worked with a mental health practitioner, then you’ve heard of triggers.  Discuss yours with your family so that they can be aware that a person, place, thing, or event can trigger an episode for you.   About three years ago, I was working with a client who was diagnosed with OCD.  We sat down with her kids and explained to them that leaving the shoes and bookbags at the front door when they came home from school was a trigger for mom.  Instead, we asked them to take all their belongings to their room.  Because when they dropped them at the door, this triggered mom to want to clean for two or three hours instead of cooking dinner.  If possible, schedule a meeting with you and your family and your therapist.  They can provide real support for you as you try to explain to your family how they can help.
  4. Guard your feelings: sometimes, family members and friends can be very supportive and loving, and sometimes they will just not understand.  You do not have to argue with them or try to convince them that what you are feeling is real.   Remember that Supportive Loved Ones Come in All Shapes and Sizes, if you cannot find natural support from your family and friends, look for it in the form of professional assistance from a therapist, case manager, or coach.  Search for online support groups or start your own.  While you want family members to be there for you, give yourself permission to focus on getting well.

If you are trying to provide support for someone who has been diagnosed with a mental illness check out Nami the National Alliance ON Mental Illness -they have an excellent program called Family to Family that is designed to help family members have a better understanding about mental illness and how they can be supportive. I took this program way back in 2010 and it was a great resource.

Wishing You Peace and Love,

Renee

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