Are You in a Toxic Relationship? It is Time to Get Out

Listen to Episode 50 of the Welcome to Your Life! Midlife Made Easier Podcast: Are you in a toxic relationship? It is time to get out

Toxic relationships are not found only in personal relationships.  Toxic relationships can plague your personal life, friendships, and work.  A toxic relationship is defined as “ a toxic relationship is a relationship characterized by behaviors on the part of the toxic partner that are emotionally and,  not infrequently, physically damaging to their partner.” 

Personally, you may long to be in a relationship, but not all relationships are created equal. Some relationships cause more grief than they are worth. While being alone can be disappointing, it can be preferable to being in a toxic relationship.

Whether you are examining your professional or private life, ask yourself if the relationship enhances your life or makes it more challenging. Why?  Because you deserve the absolute best!

Toxic relationships can be challenging and hard to leave, especially in midlife.  You might be hoping that something will change, and you will not have to give up your paycheck or the person you love.  Regardless of how much pain this toxic relationship is causing you, losing your source of income or facing the world alone, even temporarily, can be frightening.

Today we will talk primarily about the signs of toxicity in your personal life, but I want to touch on how working in a toxic climate will affect you and give you steps to help you navigate a positive outcome for you.  We spend so much of our waking time working, and toxic relationships will destroy our productivity and our ability to collaborate with others.

 Signs that your workplace may be toxic:

“The Workplace Bullying Institute indicates that 19 percent of workers report they have been bullied at work. And 72 percent of the workforce are aware of it happening.”

Your workplace may be toxic if you dread going into work and you feel emotionally and physically drained by the end of the day.

Your productivity is suffering, and you are running out of sick and vacation days. 

There is a constant level of disrespect and lack of communication.

 You feel like there is a lack of support, and you are unsure if you can trust anyone, so you keep how you think to yourself.

Physical symptoms have emerged, such as sleepiness, anxiety, or stress-eating.

The atmosphere is so hostile that you feel unsafe.

Signs that you may be in a toxic personal relationship:

A consistent lack of trust. It does not matter whether you do not trust the other person, or they do not charge you. Relationships are incredibly draining when there is a pervasive lack of trust. There is never any peace.

You are forced to compromise your values regularly. When you are put in the position to live outside of the tenets you consider to be most important, your self-respect suffers.

Your partner is not supportive of your success. They say you find out who your real friends are during times of distress, but the same can be said of periods of success. It is not uncommon for friends and family to be unsupportive when you are doing well. The last thing you want is a partner that displays this type of behavior.

Dismissiveness. Is either of you dismissive toward the other? Your interests and projects should be respected. This works both ways. If you are dismissive of your partner, your relationship could be better.

Your partner is unreliable. If you cannot count on your partner, your life is more stressful than it needs to be, and your relationship is harming you.

Going somewhere else after work is more relaxing than going home. What is worse than spending a stressful day at work and deciding instead to go sit in a coffee shop alone than go home to your partner? It is nice to have a home that is an oasis from your everyday stressors.

A lack of affection. There is a lack of closeness when love wanes. Ask yourself why you no longer want to touch each other.

You resist confiding in your partner. When you have something sensitive to discuss, it would be nice to rely on your partner. If you find yourself hesitant to share, it could be a sign that your relationship is not healthy. Ideally, your partner is also your best friend.

The relationship is harmful to any children involved. Relationships should enhance the lives of the children. If your children are frightened or discouraged, these are warning signs.

You feel unsafe with your partner. No relationship is worth risking your safety. Make your health and well-being a priority in your life.

You can think of other people with whom you would rather be in a relationship. Do you find yourself wishing you could be in a relationship with a friend or coworker instead of with your current partner? Something is wrong if you imagine yourself with someone else.

I hope that you are not experiencing any of these symptoms and that your relationships are healthy, supportive, and a source of inspiration to you.

If you believe your relationships are toxic, do not be afraid to take the time to investigate further.  For both unhealthy personal and professional relationships

  • Be willing to seek professional help.
  • Start keeping a log of events, document emails, voicemails, and interactions with individuals.  This is especially important at work if you need to file a claim with the EEOC (Equal Employment Opportunity Commission).
  • Work on building or rebuilding your self-esteem and self-confidence.
  • Start activity to help you relieve the stress
  • You do not have to stay plan your exit strategy
  • Create your village, find supportive friends or coworkers who will be there to comfort and support you.

I hope that you are not experiencing any of these symptoms and that your relationships are healthy, supportive, and a source of inspiration to you. But, if they are not, it is time to step out of denial and save yourself.  A healthy relationship makes it easier to be at your best and pursue the dreams and goals that make you happy.

With Peace and Love,

Renee

My Inner Voice is Kind to Me

Photo by Andre Furtado on Pexels.com

Listen to Episode 48 Welcome to Your Life! Midlife Made Easier My Inner Voice Is Kind To Me

I speak to myself with much love and compassion. I think positive. My inner voice builds up my confidence and self-esteem.  

I choose gentle words and stick to the facts. I ask myself open-ended questions that help me view situations from a different perspective and clarify my purpose.

I practice daily. Doubts and assumptions can be stubborn. I am patient. I strengthen my new beliefs each time I think about them or say them out loud.

I repeat positive affirmations. I use empowering statements to guide my thoughts and actions.

I give myself a pep talk before challenging tasks. I take a few deep breaths and remember my achievements. I tell myself that I am strong and competent. I visualize myself delivering an effective presentation or negotiating a raise.

I comfort myself when I am under pressure. I validate my feelings and my experiences. I motivate myself to persevere and move forward.

I praise myself for making an effort. I give myself credit for trying, regardless of the outcomes. I can learn from successes and setbacks.

I let myself cry and make myself laugh. I love and accept myself for who I am. I observe my thoughts and feelings without making judgments. I look for the reasons behind them, so I can understand my reactions and make conscious decisions.

Today, I appreciate the power of my inner voice. I talk to myself like a dear friend.

Self-Reflection Questions:

  1. How can writing in a journal help me to become more aware of my self-talk?
  2. How can my self-talk help me to deal with stress?
  3. What is one positive thing I want to tell myself each morning?

Share this affirmation with someone you love! Until next week

With Peace and Love,

Renee

PS If you want to tap into some midlife love and support, join The Welcome to Your Life! Midlife Made Easier Facebook group. In this group, there are extra trainings, resources, and support from midlife women just like you. Click here to join!

I Am Worthy of My Dreams

I have big dreams, and I expect to achieve these dreams. I have earned the right to expect great things to happen in my life. If I do my part, I know I can achieve my goals and expectations.

Download and Print Your Copy of Today’s Affirmation

I deserve for good things to happen in my life. I am considerate of others and treat everyone with the respect they deserve. I am a loving friend and family member. I have the best interests of others at heart.

I do the work each day necessary to deserve success. I work hard and with focus. I am clear on what I desire and do the work required to make my dreams a reality.

I have big goals and expectations that are congruent with my abilities.

I review my goals regularly and allow myself to get excited at the prospect of achieving them. I have detailed goals and plans to make them happen.

I am deserving. My strengths and skills are sufficient to achieve my dreams. I am motivated and capable. I am worthy of my dreams.

Today, I remind myself why my dreams are appropriate for the person I am becoming each day. I have the confidence needed to be successful in the pursuit of my goals.

Self-Reflection Questions:

  1. What are my biggest goals and my plans to achieve them?
  2. Am I willing to do the work required to be successful in achieving my goals?
  3. What steps do I take each day to make my dreams a reality?

Download and Print Your Copy of Today’s Affirmation

With Peace and Love,

Renee

I Leave the Past in the Past and Focus on the Future

Listen to Episode 47 of the Welcome to Your Life! Midlife Made Easier Podcast: I Leave the Past In The Past and Focus on the Future

I can stay focused on the present and the future. My ability to avoid dwelling on the past is increasing. I understand that thinking about the past has negative consequences.

There is nothing left for me in the past. I am glad that I learned from my past mistakes and successes. That is the best thing about the past – the lessons it provides. I take those lessons and apply them to my present. Focusing on the past, though, leads to regret.

I choose to look forward. I spend five minutes each day to imagine the future I wish to experience. I know that a compelling future is the best way to stay motivated and positive.

I work hard in the present to create my future. I can only interact with time in the present moment. I make the most of each moment and look forward to enjoying the future even more.

DOWNLOAD YOU COPY OF THIS WEEK’S AFFIRMATION HERE

I can let go of the past. Time spent on past regrets and mistakes lessens my ability to manage my life and generate success. I have more significant potential for happiness when I leave the past behind. I forgive those that have wronged me. I forgive myself for my past mistakes.

Today, I keep my attention on the present and the future. I am permanently leaving the past in my rearview mirror. I leave the past in the past and focus on the future.

Self-Reflection Questions:

  1. What is one mini goal I can focus on and accomplish this week?
  2. How can I enhance my ability to avoid focusing on the past?
  3. What are my goals for the future?
  4. What type of life do I dream of living?
  5. How will I feel when I accomplish this goal?

This Year You Will Take Action

Happy New Year my friends.  This beautiful year is just a blank slate waiting for you to put your special imprint on it.  One of my coaches sent me this, and I wanted to share it with all of you because this is the year of no excuses and no waiting for the perfect time.  The Time is Now! I changed a few things to make it more relevant to our midlife mission, but I want you to know that I believe in you, I believe in us, and together we are unstoppable. Don’t let your past trauma, failures, and unsupportive family members keep you from having the best year of your life.

Enjoy and take action

I want to talk about your IMPACT.

IN MIDLIFE Life comes down to two things:

#1: Who did you have the courage and audacity to become?

  • Were you brave?
  • Were you genuinely excellent in everything you did?
  • Did you live with authenticity?
  • Were you following your own values and truth?

#2: How many people did you help?

  • How much value did you create?
  • How many people did you profoundly impact?


The bottom line?

YOU must believe in YOU.

Because the world needs to see your mastery. The world needs you to transform lives.

And the world needs you to TAKE ACTION

…even when things are scary and uncertain.

Don’t give up on your vision and ambition.

No matter what.

GO ALL IN.

Commit to NO EXCUSES.

Because beneath every excuse is a FEAR.

But beneath every ELITE athlete, professional career woman and thought leader…

…is the strength to PERSEVERE.

  • Bravery is a muscle. 
  • Creativity is a muscle. 
  • Mastery is a muscle.


Use it or lose it.

  • So, if you want to 2x your IMPACT…
  • You need to 2x the investment in yourself. Your education. Your business.
  • When you know more, you can produce more, and you can achieve more.


STILL do not believe me.

Then start believing in YOURSELF.


Because you give yourself what you feel you deserve.

If you do not feel you deserve greatness, you will find ways to sabotage yourself.

So if you are not getting what you deserve…

Think about this:

  • Are you getting in your own way?
  • Are you struggling to be and do what you are made to do?
  • Are you spinning your wheels?


Maybe it’s time to give yourself what you TRULY deserve.

Be better.
Be amazing.
Be LEGENDARY.

Stop w-a-i-t-i-n-g for the perfect story. Or the “perfect” timing.

Other people deserve to hear your story.
Other people deserve to have your help.

You were MADE for this.

Step up to the plate. It is your time.

And I would love to help.  If you are ready to soar this year, then schedule your free Empowerment Call with me, let’s discover what is holding you back together. Problems do not solve themselves, but you have the solution.  Let’s find it together.

With Love and Peace,

Renee

Eliminating Dead Weight as 2020 Ends

When I start to work with a new client, one of the first things I like for them to identify is their support system. When you try to do something that you have never done before, you do not need to be pulled away from your focus by family and friends who do not support your vision for your life. When you change everything in your life has to change, the more you align your life with your goals the greater your chances of success. 

That is not to say that they have to agree with you completely, but they should refrain from throwing water on your dreams by reminding you of all the times you didn’t quite hit the mark in the past. Sometimes, they might think they are helpful with comments like:

  • “You can lose the weight on your own.”
  • “Are you even trying? Try harder.”
  • “Just eat less and workout more.”
  • “Shouldn’t you be thinking of retiring instead of starting a new career?”.
  • “People your age don’t run marathons.”
  • “Is the pain that bad or is it in your head.”
  • “Your time has passed; it’s time to let the younger folks have a turn.”

These are just a few of my clients’ comments, and I have heard when we confided to our closest confidants about our plans to make changes in our lives. When they recall the comments, many clients break down in tears.

Whether it is losing weight, starting a new career path, or pursuing your purpose, and maybe your new career path is your purpose. You must create a support system that supports you unconditionally, holds you accountable when you don’t believe you can do it, and loves you no matter how many times you must start over.

Anyone who does not fall in step with your plans is dead weight, and you should eliminate them immediately. You do not have to cut them out of your life entirely if you do not want too, just do not let them into your inner circle.

Make a list of three people you can count on to support your journey towards a new you.

With Love and Peace,

Renee

Download Now! The Ultimate Guide: Beating the Midlife Slump! 10 Strategies to Help You Boost Your Self Confidence, Self-Love, and Self-Care

Kamala is Calling-Will You Answer?

Listen to Episode 46 of the Welcome to Your Life! Midlife Made Easier Podcast: Kamala is Calling! Will You Answer

Like so many Americans, I found myself shouting and celebrating the election of Joe Biden as our new President-elect and Kamala Harris as our Vice President-elect. After the most intense election cycle I have ever experienced, I was glad to see it come to an end.  

As each news outlet proclaimed the dynamic duo the winner, I watched interview after interview, parents of young children and young college students extolled what this historic election meant to them.

 While I am ecstatic that my grandchildren will see someone who looks like them in the White House.  I found myself thinking about what it would mean to have a woman in mid-life become the most powerful woman in our country, in the world.  And I got even more excited. Not only did she shatter the glass ceiling, but she crushed all our excuses.

Too often in my coaching practice, I meet women in midlife who have given up on themselves and their dreams.  They genuinely believe that the life they have is all they are entitled to; that simply is not the truth.

Kamala’s election proves to us that we can continue to dream and fight for ourselves after fifty.  We still have a future.  But many of us are so committed to living in our past that we end up living our lives backward.  That must end.

I believe her election is a wake-up call for all us midlife women to reawaken to the possibility of creating the life we want.  Will you answer the call?  It is time to dust off those dreams and recalibrate them; they will be the foundation for your new future.

I must be honest with you, I had to check myself.  I have found myself crossing off goals this year and labeling them as impossible to achieve.  Mentally, I was drained and unresponsive.  But this election result has re-ignited a fire in me, and I hope it does the same for you.

The world may have written off as obsolete, what they do not realize is that we are the classic models that never go out of style. 

There is someone out there waiting for you to become the woman you were called to be; there are souls tied to our dreams; we may never meet them, but they will find us, and as our life changes, we will give them the power to change theirs.  Look at Kamala; she did what no one in this country believed was possible. Let her be your beacon until you are strong enough to become your own.

You have the power to create the life you want to live. Our families, our communities, the world, is looking to us to be the light on the hill.   I believe in you; I believe in us! It is time you stop focusing on your losses and start celebrating your wins. Kamala is calling, will you answer?

With Love and Peace,

Renee

Join the private Welcome To Your Life Midlife Made Easier Facebook group, a curated community exclusively for fun-loving midlife women. Learn from and connect with other midlife women this is your village a safe place to learn new skills, vent your concerns and celebrate your wins.  Click here to join (note: you must answer the questions to be considered).

A Special Opportunity

Hey guys, I have a special opportunity for 10 midlife women, who want to lose 10 pounds, reduce sugar cravings, and increase their energy in the next 30 days. If that sounds like you, shoot me an email at info@reneereid.net and I will send you the deets. It’s that simple. See you on the inside.

With Love and Peace,

Renee

Healthcare Mistake #3 Eating Like a 25-Year-Old

Monitor your eating habits. Stop eating like a 25-year-old. While the milkshakes, burgers, and fries may not have wreaked havoc on our wellness journey when we were younger, a fast-food diet can derail the progress we have made.  As we get older, our metabolism changes and our bodies no longer burn calories as quickly as it did when we were younger.  Stop eating late at night. Eating and drinking late at night could cause reflux, weight gain, and interfere with our ability to get a good night’s sleep.

Once you hit 40, it may be a good idea to meet with a nutritionist or health coach to assist you with mapping out a new way of eating that allows you to lose weight, energize your day, and stave off disease.  Also, watch your snacks. “Eating snacks between meals can help to keep your appetite at bay and your energy up throughout the day. The key to snacking is to choose items that will boost your health rather than cause harm.”    To boost your metabolism, get plenty of sleep, move your body, and add weight training to your workout plan.  Changing your eating habits can be difficult, but you can do it. 

With Peace and Love,

Renee

Work with me!  Apply Here This program is for midlife women between the ages of 45-60 whose lives have been frozen due to trauma, guilt, emotional neglect, disappointments, unforgiveness, or harsh breakups.  Each week we will dive into a lesson from my upcoming course, A Mindful and Graceful Life. If you are looking to live a mindful and graceful life if you feel that it’s time to lose weight naturally, reduce your stress, increase your joy, and begin the journey of making peace with your mind and body this is the program for you. This individual program is by invitation only,  if you are ready to up-level your life and heal, Apply here. 

Download Now!  Beating the Midlife Slump! 10 Strategies to Help You Boost Your Self Confidence, Self-Love, and Self-Care

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How to Create the New Life You Have Always Wanted

I get it, this was going to be your year.  2020 was the year you were going to lose weight, get a new job, disconnect from distracting or destructive relationships.  Find your soul mate, really take hold of your self-care, and make it a regular thing. Maybe, you were well on your way to making this happen, and then the world fell apart, and you with it.  I am here to tell you and myself that it is not too late to make your new life happen.  You can still make significant changes to your mind, body, and spirit. Guess what! I have a plan to help us do it.

This plan is going to require us to take some baby steps every day because real change does not happen in a day; it occurs when we make small shifts towards what we want.  Make sure that you hit the follow button so that you do not miss a post because, over the next couple of weeks, I am going to share with you 30 easy to implement life-changing tools and tips that will help you to transform your life.  Real self-care is more than just getting a manicure or a massage. It is the culmination of everything you do for yourself physically, spiritually, emotionally, mentally, and financially. 

Some of these tips may sound unnecessary, but hey do them anyway, remember it is the culmination of our efforts that creates real change.

So, let us start. Today, I want you to take out that massive goal list that you prepared at the beginning of the year, focus on one area, and create three smaller goals that will help you to complete the task.  For example, if you want to work out every day instead of focusing on an hour’s workout, try 20 minutes. “Every time you set and achieve a goal, your confidence and sense of competence increases.”  If you have been struggling to get your two-hour writing session done, then opt for 15 minutes a day, in a week you will have written 105 minutes that’s a blog, book chapter, short story, or podcast episode. 

Setting smaller goals will reduce overwhelm and keep your life balanced. So, what do you say what area of your life will you focus on with your three tiny goals? I would love to hear about your success.

With Peace and Love,

Renee

Are tired of banging your head against the wall and you need help to figure out your next steps.  Schedule your Soul Transformational call with me, it is completely free, and during our time together we will figure out what barriers are keeping you from the life you want.