I can stay focused on the present and the future. My ability to avoid dwelling on the past is increasing. I understand that thinking about the past has negative consequences.
There is nothing left for me in the past. I am glad that I learned from my past mistakes and successes. That is the best thing about the past – the lessons it provides. I take those lessons and apply them to my present. Focusing on the past, though, leads to regret.
I choose to look forward. I spend five minutes each day to imagine the future I wish to experience. I know that a compelling future is the best way to stay motivated and positive.
I work hard in the present to create my future. I can only interact with time in the present moment. I make the most of each moment and look forward to enjoying the future even more.
I can let go of the past. Time spent on past regrets and mistakes lessens my ability to manage my life and generate success. I have more significant potential for happiness when I leave the past behind. I forgive those that have wronged me. I forgive myself for my past mistakes.
Today, I keep my attention on the present and the future. I am permanently leaving the past in my rearview mirror. I leave the past in the past and focus on the future.
Self-Reflection Questions:
What is one mini goal I can focus on and accomplish this week?
How can I enhance my ability to avoid focusing on the past?
When I start to work with a new client, one of the first things I like for them to identify is their support system. When you try to do something that you have never done before, you do not need to be pulled away from your focus by family and friends who do not support your vision for your life. When you change everything in your life has to change, the more you align your life with your goals the greater your chances of success.
That is not to say that they have to agree with you completely, but they should refrain from throwing water on your dreams by reminding you of all the times you didn’t quite hit the mark in the past. Sometimes, they might think they are helpful with comments like:
“You can lose the weight on your own.”
“Are you even trying? Try harder.”
“Just eat less and workout more.”
“Shouldn’t you be thinking of retiring instead of starting a new career?”.
“People your age don’t run marathons.”
“Is the pain that bad or is it in your head.”
“Your time has passed; it’s time to let the younger folks have a turn.”
These are just a few of my clients’ comments, and I have heard when we confided to our closest confidants about our plans to make changes in our lives. When they recall the comments, many clients break down in tears.
Whether it is losing weight, starting a new career path, or pursuing your purpose, and maybe your new career path is your purpose. You must create a support system that supports you unconditionally, holds you accountable when you don’t believe you can do it, and loves you no matter how many times you must start over.
Anyone who does not fall in step with your plans is dead weight, and you should eliminate them immediately. You do not have to cut them out of your life entirely if you do not want too, just do not let them into your inner circle.
Make a list of three people you can count on to support your journey towards a new you.
Like so many Americans, I found myself shouting and celebrating the election of Joe Biden as our new President-elect and Kamala Harris as our Vice President-elect. After the most intense election cycle I have ever experienced, I was glad to see it come to an end.
As each news outlet proclaimed the dynamic duo the winner, I watched interview after interview, parents of young children and young college students extolled what this historic election meant to them.
While I am ecstatic that my grandchildren will see someone who looks like them in the White House. I found myself thinking about what it would mean to have a woman in mid-life become the most powerful woman in our country, in the world. And I got even more excited. Not only did she shatter the glass ceiling, but she crushed all our excuses.
Too often in my coaching practice, I meet women in midlife who have given up on themselves and their dreams. They genuinely believe that the life they have is all they are entitled to; that simply is not the truth.
Kamala’s election proves to us that we can continue to dream and fight for ourselves after fifty. We still have a future. But many of us are so committed to living in our past that we end up living our lives backward. That must end.
I believe her election is a wake-up call for all us midlife women to reawaken to the possibility of creating the life we want. Will you answer the call? It is time to dust off those dreams and recalibrate them; they will be the foundation for your new future.
I must be honest with you, I had to check myself. I have found myself crossing off goals this year and labeling them as impossible to achieve. Mentally, I was drained and unresponsive. But this election result has re-ignited a fire in me, and I hope it does the same for you.
The world may have written off as obsolete, what they do not realize is that we are the classic models that never go out of style.
There is someone out there waiting for you to become the woman you were called to be; there are souls tied to our dreams; we may never meet them, but they will find us, and as our life changes, we will give them the power to change theirs. Look at Kamala; she did what no one in this country believed was possible. Let her be your beacon until you are strong enough to become your own.
You have the power to create the life you want to live. Our families, our communities, the world, is looking to us to be the light on the hill. I believe in you; I believe in us! It is time you stop focusing on your losses and start celebrating your wins. Kamala is calling, will you answer?
With Love and Peace,
Renee
Join the private Welcome To Your Life Midlife Made Easier Facebook group, a curated community exclusively for fun-loving midlife women. Learn from and connect with other midlife women this is your village a safe place to learn new skills, vent your concerns and celebrate your wins. Click here to join (note: you must answer the questions to be considered).
Hey guys, I have a special opportunity for 10 midlife women, who want to lose 10 pounds, reduce sugar cravings, and increase their energy in the next 30 days. If that sounds like you, shoot me an email at info@reneereid.net and I will send you the deets. It’s that simple. See you on the inside.
So many of us are holding our breaths, waiting for the next failure, disappointment, or disaster to hit. Take a deep breath and know that whatever happens, you have the strength to get through it. Be proud of your battle scars!
Monitor your eating habits. Stop eating like a 25-year-old. While the milkshakes, burgers, and fries may not have wreaked havoc on our wellness journey when we were younger, a fast-food diet can derail the progress we have made. As we get older, our metabolism changes and our bodies no longer burn calories as quickly as it did when we were younger. Stop eating late at night. Eating and drinking late at night could cause reflux, weight gain, and interfere with our ability to get a good night’s sleep.
Work with me! Apply Here This program is for midlife women between the ages of 45-60 whose lives have been frozen due to trauma, guilt, emotional neglect, disappointments, unforgiveness, or harsh breakups. Each week we will dive into a lesson from my upcoming course, A Mindful and Graceful Life. If you are looking to live a mindful and graceful life if you feel that it’s time to lose weight naturally, reduce your stress, increase your joy, and begin the journey of making peace with your mind and body this is the program for you. This individual program is by invitation only, if you are ready to up-level your life and heal, Apply here.
Midlife can be hard on our self-confidence and self-esteem. If you have any contact with social media, you will have noticed how everyone is striving to be perfect. Suddenly you cannot post a selfie without at least one filter or go out for dinner without showing your curated plate of food. Even your dog must look perfect.
It is easy to get stuck in comparison mode, and if we are not careful, we will lose our joy.
What if you just decided to take a step away from all the competition? Leave all that clamoring for likes and hearts to others? What if you chose merely to enjoy your life without sharing it with the world? Here are four ways to reclaim your life and reenergize your joy.
Stop judging
You can decide right now to stop analyzing other people, looking for what is wrong with their face or their body or their life choices. Refocus your mindset so that you stop seeing differences as flaws, but as ways that make each of us unique.
Let go of the urge to criticize others, and you will notice that your negative self-talk will begin to diminish.
Accept your imperfection
Wanting to be the best version of you is not the same as being a perfectionist. A perfectionist is never happy with who they are, how they look, or how they are doing. There was a time when I would not post a video unless I was in full make-up. I can laugh now, but it seriously hampered how I was able to connect with you guys. I realize now that being my best means I work hard, and I do not give up. Stop blaming yourself when things are not perfect, learn from the setbacks and failures and recalibrate, and never take failure personally.
Relax and enjoy the process
Do you ponder every detail of your plan until you get nothing done? My coach is always telling me that “done is better than perfect”. Trying to wait to do something fantastic in your life until everything is perfect will only put your life and dreams on hold. When you embrace imperfection as a natural part of life, it frees you up to enjoy the ride.
Obstacles become challenges that make life more enjoyable. You can slow down and notice all the good things there are in your life.
Adopt imperfection as a way of life
Once you make peace with imperfection, you can be a lot more objective about your life. Your perspective changes, and what once seemed overwhelmingly important suddenly does not matter so much. All our experiences become just another aspect of a life lived richly. These experiences, no matter how jacked up, will help you to create the person who is continually evolving.
Imperfection stops being something to avoid at all costs. Think about it like this: perfection implies stasis, something you achieve and have to tend. It is fragile and vulnerable. It puts an end to growth. And then what? You do not want to stop learning and growing and developing, do you? Embracing imperfection means there is always an opportunity to learn and grow and become a better person.
Say it with me, from today forward I will enjoy my imperfect self.
Let me help you lose your next eight pounds. Join me for the next cohort of the Couch to 5K Walking and Clean Eating Challenge Training starts on October 4th -Race Day is October 31st each participant in the 5K program will receive a beautiful medal and bragging rights. Check out the Entire Program Here! See you at the starting line.
So, you had a bad eating day, who hasn’t, this journey toward health is a marathon, not a sprint, so allow yourself some grace, or you won’t last. If what you’ve eaten today does not necessarily line up with your healthy eating plan. Write down why! What happened that threw you off track:
Did you forget to pack your lunch? Did you skip breakfast? Did you stay up late watching the news and didn’t get enough sleep? Are you sad?
When you take a step back and look at the day through your logical eye and not emotions, you can pinpoint the trigger and correct your course. Overeating does not make you a bad person or a lost cause. It makes you human!
So, you had a bad eating day, who hasn’t, this journey toward health is a marathon, not a sprint, so allow yourself some grace, or you won’t last. If what you’ve eaten today does not necessarily line up with your healthy eating plan. Write down why! What happened that threw you off track:
Did you forget to pack your lunch? Did you skip breakfast? Did you stay up late watching the news and didn’t get enough sleep? Are you sad?
When you take a step back and look at the day through your logical eye and not emotions, you can pinpoint the trigger and correct your course. Overeating does not make you a bad person or a lost cause. It makes you human!
So, you had a bad eating day, who hasn’t, this journey toward health is a marathon, not a sprint, so allow yourself some grace, or you won’t last. If what you’ve eaten today does not necessarily line up with your healthy eating plan. Write down why! What happened that threw you off track:
Did you forget to pack your lunch? Did you skip breakfast? Did you stay up late watching the news and didn’t get enough sleep? Are you sad?
When you take a step back and look at the day through your logical eye and not emotions, you can pinpoint the trigger and correct your course. Overeating does not make you a bad person or a lost cause. It makes you human!
Don’t Forget to Share, Comment, and Follow Daily Strategies to Help Make Midlife Easier
Nighttime eating can ruin the physical and emotional progress you’ve made during the day. There are several reasons why we continue to eat after the dinner meal is over. It could be that you’re bored, hungry, or using food to meet a need other than hunger.
To end the struggle, try creating a routine. Make sure that you are getting enough sleep and spread out your meals during the day. Take out a piece of paper right now and write down your eating and sleeping schedule for the next week. Spreading meals out through the day will help you to feel less hungry at night. Make sure your meals include a protein, grain, veggie, and a healthy fat.
Remember, if your body is used to eating more calories than it needs, it might take seven to ten days for it to self-regulate when you start eating the calories you need to live and thrive.
Don’t Forget to Share, Comment, and Follow I Provide Daily Strategies to Help Make Midlife Easier
Note: The blog has a new format; during this time of crisis, I will be answering your questions. I hope that in some small way this will be of service to you all. If you have a question, you would like to ask, please leave it in the comments or email me at info@reneereid.net. Let me know if you would like your name to be used.
Today’s question is from Laura: She writes, “I am 52 years old and like most of us, I am working from home. My kids are home from school and my husband is working from home as well. I used to pride myself on my productivity at work and at home, but in the last week my productivity has plummeted. My boss was tracking my work and called to say she noticed I wasn’t getting much done. Help!!!!
Okay, that title might be a little over the top, but that is just how I feel now. And as you can see, Laura feels that way too, but to be honest, everything in our lives seems to be exaggerated, out of control, and more than a little overwhelming. But, before we get started, I want to remind you that while you may be working remotely in your corner of the world, you are not alone. We are a community of supportive, loving, quirky folks who have each other’s back. And not even a social distancing directive can change that, I am here for you and so is everyone in our little community. So, if you have a question for us, please write in.
Now, Laura, first let me say I am sorry that you are experiencing so much angst over working from home. Working from home is not for everyone and being put in a situation like this so quickly without time to prepare can be a lot to handle emotionally. The question for all of us is, how can we maintain an optimal level of productivity working from home? As you know, Covid-19 has forced many companies to either shut down entirely or send their workforce with laptops in hand home to work. Remote work can be great, but if you are not used to managing yourself without the oversight of a supervisor or your work colleagues, it can be a bit daunting. These tips will work for you if you are a regular 9-5 worker or if you work for yourself but have used your local coffee shop as your makeshift office.
They will help you to stay on task, boost your productivity, and calm the overwhelm you might be feeling right now because these tips are things that you can control. And that is what we all need right now, a little bit of control.
You must maintain a regular work schedule. The first days after being laid-off, my daily schedule was all over the place. Which was a surprise to me because I am a Coach who has worked with midlife women on identifying and removing time eaters from their daily schedules. Why? Because if you do not control your time, every area of your life is affected. Secondly, I was just lamenting the week before how much more work I could get done on my business, if I didn’t have a big chunk of my day eaten away by my work schedule. Fast forward a week later, and I am trying to write my blog, answer coaching calls, record a podcast, all while trying to watch the latest news coverage, and do my laundry. That week was a bust. This week, I instituted my regular work schedule using the hours I would have been working outside of my home. So, my work hours are from 9 am-3 pm, this also required me to reinstitute my regular bedtime so that I could rise and do my morning routine before sitting down at my desk at 9 am.
Create a designated work area and set clear boundaries. Bryan Robinson, a contributor for Forbes magazine, suggests, “Have a space that you designate as your workstation instead of checking emails, voicemails, or texting in front of the TV or spreading work out on the kitchen table.” Having a designated work area will not only keep you focused, but it will send a signal to you and the rest of the family that you are in work mode and should not be disturbed unless it is a real emergency. If you do not set this clear boundary, you might feel like you are working all the time, or your family will interrupt all day, and you won’t get anything done. Both will zap your energy and your focus. You also want to make it clear to family and friends that while you may be at home, you are still working, and they should wait to call you until after your workday ends. It might be a good idea to schedule a family meeting to go over the daily schedule, which should include your designated work time and scheduled time to hang out with significant others and kids.
3. Take frequent breaks. Just because you are working from home doesn’t mean that you can’t take a break, schedule in lunchtime and 15-minute breaks the same as you would if you were in your office. Use your break to refresh your brain and move your body, go for a walk, stretch, sit outside and soak in some vitamin D. My Fitbit reminds me every hour to walk for ten minutes, which helps me to refocus and add some steps to my daily step total.
4. Stay connected to your colleagues and work friends. Working from home can be lonely. Thankfully, we live in the digital age, and platforms like Slack, Zoom, and Mighty Networks make it possible for you to not only share work products but also check in to see how your work buddy is faring during your time of separation.
This is a trying time for all of us, however, you might find that when this is over and yes, it will end, that you handled this situation so well that you get a promotion, land the job of your dreams or, double your business if you are working for yourself, Control what you can control.
I hope that these tips were helpful. I’m sure you have heard them before sometimes we have to hear things more than once before we act. Let’s take action.
Remember, you are stronger than you give yourself credit and more blessed than you know.
Guys, if you have any further tips for Laura, please leave them in the comments. How are handling working from home?
